Ladies, Pull Up Your Big Grrrl Panties!

I separated from my husband of 16 years one year ago on Jan 2, 2016.  It was unexpected.  Because I didn't see it coming, I couldn't prepare for it.  Actually, I'm not really sure you can be prepared.

I certainly never, ever pictured myself as a middle aged, divorced, single mom.

I don't know if I will ever find someone to share my life with.  I have faith that I will though.

But if I don't, it's more than ok.  I have so much. 

  • My health
  • My 2 daughters
  • Family and friends that stepped up to help me through the transition
  • A rewarding career 
  • Patients who I enjoy seeing week after week and teach me so much
  • Hobbies
  • New sexy date clothes :)
  • the list goes on and on...

But that's the situation I'm in and I have to make the most of it.  I cried my tears but that time's over. 

It's big-grrrrl panties time.  As it is for you...

Because you didn't see your fertility issues coming, you have your own pain.

When you're trying to get pregnant, it seems like everyone, but you, is.

You want to be happy for them but deep inside...  You wish you were the one giving the news. 

You avoid baby showers because they're too painful.  Your friends and family wonder when they should share their own pregnancies because they worry about how you'll take it.

Theirpregnancy shines a bright spotlight on your own emptiness.

This is an inner struggle that you will have to work through and rise above. 

Acknowledge the pain and jealousy that arises.  They are valid emotions appropriate to your situation.  Cry if you need to.

However, the crying and self-pity stops here! 

As soon as you recognize the negative thoughts, focus on what you have. 

Because you have so much.

You are blessed with a loving partner, sympathetic friends, and supportive family.   You have all your basic physical needs met - shelter, food, clothing.  Many of your desires you can afford.  You have more than most of the rest of the world. 

Remind yourself over and over again of your bounty so that its sheer size can crowd out the darkness of your longing. 

Stop focusing on what's missing and rejoice in what you already have so you can live in the moment.

You are a gift to the people who know you.  Recognize and honor that so more light can find its way to you. 

If you need more tough love, get started here: http://juliechang.genbook.com/

Julie Chang,
Natural Fertility Eggspurt

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