Since most of my patients are in their late 30s and 40s, one of the issues that come up often is when to move on and end the fertility journey.
In my opinion, for most women, the definitive end point is a women at least in her mid to late 40s whose period has been regular to date but has recently become so irregular that ovulation is difficult to track or it completely stops. Ending the fertility journey before that is premature, I think.
To be crystal clear, I'm not talking about younger women in their 30s who have had irregular or no menses for years. Because I think it's sometimes still possible to rebalance the hormones enough for her period to come back naturally.
So back to a woman in her 40s...
The major issue I see is that women often define their fertility and capability of having their own child by a single number, like their FSH or AMH. So if their FSH is high (above 10) or AMH is low (below 1.0), they go into panic mode because their perception is that they're done.
But, to me, that's like defining my overall health by my cholesterol number. It makes no sense whatsoever.
Or not giving an otherwise nice guy a chance cuz there isn't immediate chemistry. Maybe once you get to know him, you'll find he makes you laugh, shares common values, and is just an overall decent dude. But you'll never know if you make an assumption based off a lackluster first impression.
Oh, snap! Was I supposed to be talking about you? ;)
So these women with high FSH and/or low AMH get really wound up and desperately try everything to improve their fertility naturally. Then, often within 3 months, they burn out because "it's not working" and throw in the towel.
Girrrllll. That's not how it works.
This is about patience, resilience, consistency, grit, discipline. Pushing you out of your emotional comfort zone.
It's not sexy, like having an IVF give you a big fat positive.
But getting pregnant and having your own healthy child into your 40s IS possible even with high FSH, low AMH, "poor egg quality", "low ovarian reserve".
Above all else, it's about transcending your pain to see how you can make the most of your situation and enjoy the journey.
If you can truly embrace that it's an opportunity for you to grow as an individual, with your partner as a couple, and be healthier physically, emotionally, and spiritually, that's when all the great things start to present themselves.
This journey is much easier done with a guide. The online fertility coaching program will re-open in November with concrete fertility advice and actionable weekly tips. More info to come in the next few weeks...
Natural Fertility Eggspurt
The Real Deal:
- Natural Fertility Coach
- Licensed Fertility Acupuncturist for 18 years
- Master in Traditional Oriental Medicine, Magna Cum Laude
- B.S. Microbiology & Molecular Genetics, UCLA