How to lose a guy quickly...

This past weekend was one of the crummiest I've had in a long time.

And it was because of a guy. 

To protect the innocent, I won't get into specifics. Sorry. Maybe another time.  ;)

But suffice it to say, I wasn't happy with his actions.  I felt dissed.

We had only been on 3 dates so we hadn't established enough of an open communication where I was comfortable just being honest about how I was feeling.

The risk was that I would unload too much at such an early stage of our relationship and he would take off.  That's often how women lose guys they're dating early on - getting too heavy too quickly.

So I stewed and stewed over it all weekend.  You know how it is, ladies. ;)

I finally came to the decision to just be upfront.  It felt very inauthentic of me to pretend like everything was ok and just roll with it. 

Dating's difficult because I get such mixed messages about how best to act.  It just got to the point where I said "fuggit".  If it doesn't work out, there will be another guy.  What's that joke about guys being like buses?  There's always another one coming. LOL

So after I expressed how I was feeling, I felt soooo much better. 

He ended up taking off.  Ouch.

But at least I owned up to my feelings and communicated them.

As women, we get all these conflicting messages about how we should be and act.  Often at the cost of our own needs and desires.  We ignore them so we can adhere to more conventional societal rules and customs. 

This is a very slippery slope that's hard to get off. 

Partly because most of us don't want to be different. 

We become people pleasers and forget that first and foremost, we need to please ourselves.  To love ourselves. 

Not to the point where we are selfish. 

But to be our true authentic self. 

It's about honestly assessing who you are.

In honoring that, you will be able to find solutions along your fertility journey more easily.  

Then sprinkle in a little discipline to change your behavioral patterns that are no longer working for you. 

Everyone's road is different. 

Yes, it helps to see what other women do to get pregnant.  But it's your job to do your due diligence to decide if it's the right course of action.

Just because everyone's on the IVF bandwagon doesn't mean it's the best answer for you at this time.

Instead, it might be better for you to look at your lifestyle.  Reduce your stress, spend more time with your significant other, take more time for yourself.  

People often don't prioritize these because there are no hard deadlines like a work project.  

But they're just as important to your fertility as knowing when you ovulate.

Honoring your individual journey and embracing an attitude of self-experimentation will get you the best chances of success.

If knowing how to improve your lifestyle choices is part of your fertility path, check out my online GPS (Get Pregnant & Stay pregnant) Fertility Program here: zenfertility.com/gps

Julie Chang,
Natural Fertility Eggspurt

The Real Deal:

  • Natural Fertility Coach
  • Licensed Fertility Acupuncturist for 18 years
  • Master in Traditional Oriental Medicine, Magna Cum Laude
  • B.S. Microbiology & Molecular Genetics, UCLA

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