This is Why You'll Fail in 2017

January 1, 2016 - I had a family with a husband and 2 beautiful, smart daughters.

January 2, 2016 - My husband of 14 years blindsided me with the announcement that he wanted a divorce.

My life completely shifted from one day to the next.  It was a huge wake up call for me.  I spent all of 2016 figuring out how to get my life back on track as a single, working mom. 

To start with, I had to redefine myself as an individual, no longer part of a couple.  That's a confusing, unclear journey when you've been with someone for 16 years.

What I've learned?

A LOT. 

But this one is a biggie because I don't think it's obvious until you've had major upheaval and loss.

Life isn't about how not to LOSE. 

It's about how to finally WIN. 

At least, that's how I want to approach life.

I was content with my life.  To be perfectly honest, I wasn't IN love with him anymore.  I still loved him because of our history and what we had built together.  But I was committed to the relationship and it was ok with me that I didn't have a deeper connection with him.

But when we split, it was my wake up call.  This is my opportunity to reinvent myself.  Be whoever I want.  My redo.  Time for a software upgrade and reboot to implement the upgrade.  I had to get geeky - couldn't help it. ;) 

So I'm taking full advantage of it.  And having an amazing time.  Deeper relationships, new friends, new adventures, new opportunities. 

My life is so much richer today.  It's like living in HD again with surround sound.

Cliche as it- "when one door closes, another opens".  I actually would modify it and say when one door closes, many others open... as long as you're open to them.

I know it's difficult to see women around you getting pregnant.  It sucks.  It's unfair.  It's depressing.  It is all of that and then some.  This is not an easy path that you were put on.  Certainly by no fault of your own.  But it is what it is. 

So what are you doing about it?

Are you doing everything you can to win this?  Because honestly there is more you can do.  I see it in my patients when they skip a few treatments, don't take their supplements, eat stuff I specifically say to avoid. 

When I see this happening, their mental game is to not lose - it's half hearted. 

You want to win? 

It requires discipline - day in, day out, for months and, yes, even years.  You may not want or like to do what it takes.  But you need to dig deep and muster the grit to do it.  Because you know what's at stake.

You want to know when you're playing to win? 

When you're ok with the fact that you may not get pregnant.  That sounds harsh but I don't know how else to put it. 

Ultimately, it's about learning to let go of a specific outcome.  So many things are out of your control.  Do what you can and accept what comes to you as a result. 

Live your life for today, not for tomorrow. 

You only have today.

I'm here to support you on your fertility journey so if you've been putting off trying acupuncture to improve your fertility, call me at (858) 495-0771 or book here: http://juliechang.genbook.com/

Julie Chang,
Natural Fertility Eggspurt
www.ZenFertility.com

P.S. No need to feel bad for me.  2016 was the most difficult year of my life.  But by Dec 31, it was the most rewarding. I am happier now than I have been in years.
 

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