When You Feel Like B*tching Out Your Man, Do This Instead...

I saw a woman in the store yesterday going off on someone who was trying to be helpful. 

I was appalled to see how she thought it was ok to talk to another person like that. 

Being unkind is inexcusable. 

As adults, we should have enough impulse control to reign in our emotions so that they aren't projected onto others. 

However we choose to react to others is exactly that - a choice.  You can choose to be positive, negative, or neutral (walk away). 

Unfortunately, we are often most unkind to the people closest to us. 

Situations can get heated during stressful times.  Especially when you've been trying to conceive for months or years.  Money gets tighter.  Time ticks away faster.   Fuses shorten.  Tempers flare. 

Communication is key during these times.

Today, I introduce to you Tool #2 of the 5 communication tools as taught by Dr. Pat Allen, author of "Getting to I Do: The Secret to Doing Relationships Right" and "Staying Married...And Loving It!  How to Get What You Want from Your Man Without Asking".

If you missed Tool #1, go here.

Tool #2

For the Lay-deez: 

When you want to teach/preach/bytch/moan/question your man, make an appointment and get permission first. 

"Honey, I have a question to ask you.  (I have an idea about where to go/what to do/when to do it/how to do it/who to do it with. I have an idea/opinion to share.) When would it be convenient, hopefully today, to listen to me?"

Respect your man by knocking on the door first.  Don't jump down his throat as he walks in the house.  I cringe as I think about how many times I've done that in the past with my ex.  Yes, you may be spittin' nails pissed off about something but rein it in so you don't go charging in with that negativity.  He will go on the defense naturally when he sees that barreling towards him.  As a result, he won't be able to hear you if you're on the attack.

Resolve it today or at the latest the next day.  So it doesn't fester like an infected wound and become 2 words “You always” and “You never”. 

For the doodz:

If you have something negative to say to your lay-dee, make an appointment and get permission with her.

"I have something to say that may be a little negative or painful, when would you be comfortable listening to me?"

Practice Tools 1 and 2 in the following week.

Let me know how it goes.

Know someone dealing with infertility?  She probably can use some help with this communication tool as well.  Forward this email to her and invite her to opt-in for daily emails at zenfertility.com/top10.

Julie Chang,
Natural Fertility Eggspurt
For fertility acupuncture appointments in San Diego, call me at (858) 495-0771 or book here: http://juliechang.genbook.com/

The Real Deal:

  • Licensed Acupuncturist for 18 years
  • Master in Traditional Oriental Medicine, Magna Cum Laude
  • B.S. Microbiology & Molecular Genetics, UCLA

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