Talking S-E-X at the Dinner Table

At dinner yesterday,  I had my kids' attention so I thought I would throw in the s-e-x talk.  

Not really.  

But I did say that if they have any questions about s-e-x or relationships, they can ask me or one of my closest friends who they know very well.  

They're used to me pulling out random topics.  Keeps them on their toes. :)

My 8yo just giggled while my 12yo rolled her eyes (she's at the age where she's reaaalllly uncomfortable with the topic - that's why it's so much fun to bring up. Lol)

They may not be interested in dating yet but they need to be comfortable asking me questions about it.  

Not that I'm an expert.  But I've learned a thing or 2 since the demise of my 14 year marriage.

In the past few weeks, I've shared with you some of that knowledge.

So let me introduce the last tool from the 5 communication tools as taught by Dr. Pat Allen, author of "Getting to I Do: The Secret to Doing Relationships Right" and "Staying Married...And Loving It!  How to Get What You Want from Your Man Without Asking".

Before I get to that, if you missed the previous tools, here they are.

  • Tool #1 - Don't mother your man.
  • Tool #2 - If you have something negative to say, make an appointment and get permission first.
  • Tool #3 - When you're irritated with your partner, make her/him right.
  • Tool #4 - Flush out non-verbal language to the verbal language so you can negotiate your needs and desires.

Tool #5 - To signal that you're upset, use a time out. 

Ladies, if you're ticked off at your man, signal a time out and say "I would feel better if you…”  

Remember, for women to be in the feminine, we need to stay in the feelings department when it comes to our partners.

Men, if your woman is pissing you off, use a time out and say "I’m signaling that I want you to ask me what you can do to help us do better.”

For men to stay in the masculine, men need to know how they can do better.

So those are the 5 tools of communication to help you navigate any rough patches you might face on your fertility journey.

Know someone dealing with infertility?  She probably can use some help with this communication tool as well.  Forward this email to her and invite her to opt-in for daily emails at

Julie Chang,
Natural Fertility Eggspurt
For fertility acupuncture appointments in San Diego, call me at (858) 495-0771 or book here:

The Real Deal:

  • Licensed Acupuncturist for 18 years
  • Master in Traditional Oriental Medicine, Magna Cum Laude
  • B.S. Microbiology & Molecular Genetics, UCLA

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