How to restore balance to your relationship


"Broccoli or peppers?"

...asks this guy I've been dating who was at the grocery store getting ingredients to make dinner for me.  

Told him I'm not a fussy eater so choose for me. 

It was a mini-test on my part to see if he could make a decision.

He failed.

I know he was trying to be respectful of my wishes.  I appreciate that.  I really do.  

But dayam, I want a guy who can be decisive.  I gave him the green light to make a choice and he couldn't so I told him to get the broccoli.  


If he can't even make that small of a decision on my behalf, we aren't going very far.

I'm going to sound sexist but hear me out...

Since humans first appeared on earth, men have been the hunters and women have stayed behind tending the campfires and whatnot to raise the young'uns.  

Our biology has evolved to support that social dynamic.

We've had feminism for what?  50 years or so?  

Our hardwiring hasn't changed to accommodate this new social norm.

Equality is applicable for the workplace.  Women should absolutely be paid for the value they bring to the workplace.  The glass ceiling exists and we need to break it.  

But here's the thing...

Equality is situational.  

It doesn't work in intimate relationships.  

In order for attraction to thrive, there must be a masculine and feminine energy.  Yin to a yang.  A woman must provide what a man doesn't inherently have.  And vice versa.

Equality is the death of passion.  Because you become friends.  Teamwork is appropriate in certain situations like childcare and financial matters.

But the energetic dynamics of the relationship with your partner must have different polarities.  Think of a magnet.  Opposite polarities attract while the same polarity repels.

A real man needs to be decisive and assertive, without being domineering.  He is the lead.  This allows the woman to receive what he has to offer.

In partner dancing, the guy must lead so the woman can follow him.  Otherwise, confusion over the next step will ensue.  I have stepped on a many a poor man's feet because he wasn't a strong enough lead to direct me.

There is so much uncertainty about the roles of men and women nowadays that they don't know how to act with each other in intimate relationships.  

Men are being emasculated.  Men who aren't given the opportunity to take control will actually have lower testosterone levels.  Instead, let them go to their man cave to recharge and rebuild their testosterone.  They don't need to talk about their feelings all the time - that's a woman thing.   

Women bring home balls that should stay at work.  Women who take excessive control in the relationship will have too much testosterone.  When a woman is referred to as the one wearing the pants, that's not necessarily a good thing.  Instead, share your feelings with your partner as that will help bring your estrogen levels up and decrease stress.  Show/tell him that he's needed and appreciated for all the small things he does for you.  See his chest puff up in pride when you respect him.  In turn, he will cherish you so you feel important.

This role reversal has a very real physical effect on hormonal levels.  

That will in turn affect fertility.  

Yeah, who woulda thunk it?

So men - be a MAN!  Take control.  That's sexy.

And women - chill out and receive that energy without fighting back.  You always have the veto power if you're uncomfortable with anything he does.

Know someone dealing with infertility?   Forward this email to her and invite her to opt-in for daily emails at

Julie Chang,
Natural Fertility Eggspurt
For fertility acupuncture appointments in San Diego, call me at (858) 495-0771 or book here:

The Real Deal:

  • Licensed Acupuncturist for 18 years
  • Master in Traditional Oriental Medicine, Magna Cum Laude
  • B.S. Microbiology & Molecular Genetics, UCLA

Show me how to improve my fertility naturally with daily email tips