Getting dumped sucks...

I've been dumped.  Aaagghhhh, the burn!

Radio silence for 3 weeks from a guy I was seeing consistently for 3 months.    

I've heard the term "ghosting" but I've never personally experienced it.  Until now.  

In the dating world, ghosting is when someone fades into the ether rather than having an upfront conversation about moving on.  I understand why it's done - to avoid the discomfort and potential conflict. But, dayamn, that's such a wimpy way to go.

At my age, I thought I had graduated to more mature adults.  Evidently not.  

'S ok - he did me a favor by showing me his true colors.

Not that there weren't any red flags before.  I just was ignoring them for the moment cuz I was having too much fun with him. ;)

That and I knew I still had my lessons to learn from this relationship.

One lesson was to set my expectations to the reality of my circumstances.  

I knew within 2 weeks, he wasn't who I needed him to be for a serious relationship.  That was the logical me who was looking at him objectively.

But the idealistic, romantic me was still hoping that things might work out.  

My struggle was accepting him for who he is and setting my expectations accordingly.  His actions told me he wasn't capable of prioritizing me but I wanted more.  It took me 3 months to fully learn the lesson of setting expectations according to the situation and particularly to what the other person demonstrates through his actions.

And so it is with you...

So many women in their 40s come to me for help in getting pregnant.  They've been diagnosed with poor egg quality or poor ovarian reserve.  I'm often their last resort before they give up on the idea of having a child.  

But they come with expectations that don't reflect where they are at the moment.  They've had problems conceiving for years and already spent tens of thousands of dollars on medical treatment like IVF.  With zero success.  Yet they expect for me to help them turn the situation around so they can get pregnant immediately.  Unfortunately, that's not their reality.

Whatever situation has led them to that point can't be reversed overnight or even a few weeks.  It often takes months (even 1-2 years in some women) of committing to the work of optimizing their health physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  And it's HARD.  I make no bones about it.  It's uncomfortable cuz you must look in the mirror, be objective about where you are and where you need to be, and do the work every single day.  Only then will you have a chance.  

But I can guide you despite your doubts if it's possible.  Cuz it sure is.  I have many patients in their 40s attesting to that!  

I'll relaunch my online fertility coaching program later this year to help you through the process. So stay tuned for that.

In the meantime, know anyone who might benefit from today's read?  Please forward this and have her sign up for my daily emails at

Julie Chang,
Natural Fertility Eggspurt

The Real Deal:

  • Natural Fertility Coach
  • Licensed Fertility Acupuncturist for 18 years
  • Doctorate in Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine - 2018
  • Master in Traditional Oriental Medicine, Magna Cum Laude
  • B.S. Microbiology & Molecular Genetics, UCLA

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