In high school, I used White-out to make corrections on my typewritten papers. How happy I was when typewriters with self-correcting tape came out.
Then in college, I was so stoked to get an electric typewriter with a little LCD screen that saved a few lines of text. It was my first word processor.
When computers came out, they were marketed to us as machines that would save us time because of their efficiency.
Problem is, we ended up stuffing in more work to fit the time that was freed up.
And we became even busier. Now we're constantly busy, busy, busy.
There's a certain pride that comes with saying "I'm busy". We value accomplishments, drive, power, money.
And as we become even more connected with social media, it only gets worse. We're an inherently competitive species. We don't want to get left behind. It's the whole "keeping up with the Joneses" mentality.
The problem is we become disconnected with who we are and what we desire.
Maslow's hierarchy of human needs identifies the basic types of motivation and the order in which they should be met.
Our most fundamental and largest need is the basic physiological needs of food, clean water, shelter, and clothing.
Once those are met, our need for safety must come in the form of personal security, financial stability, health and well being. With the increasing frequency of these natural disasters, that's a little shaky now.
But assuming that's covered, the third level of human need is to have our emotional needs met. We need a sense of belonging and acceptance within our social groups - intimate partner, friends, family. Without it, we can feel lonely and depressed.
For many of you reading my emails, this is where the foundation starts cracking.
Because as we get busier, what begins to suffer? Often your relationships. Because you're too "busy". And the one who bears the brunt of this is your partner.
Many of you are nodding as you read this. And pay lip service to spending more time with your significant other.
But how many of you actually make the time to connect with him on a daily (if only for a few minutes) or weekly basis?
That passion you had at the beginning of your relationship was, in part, due to the complete presence you had in each other's company. When you hung on to each other's every word so you can get to know them better.
Now how often are you checking your phone, washing dishes, cooking, while your partner is talking? It's impossible to be connected to someone when you're multi-tasking.
I know, I know. There's a sh*t ton of stuff to get done. I TOTALLY get that as a working, single mom.
But at the end of the day, who and what really matters?
Put it another way, how do you want your obituary to read? Yeah, that's how you can get real with what's important to you.
You keep putting it off, you might be run over tomorrow like that squirrel I wrote about yesterday and have no legacy to be remembered by. Except for a rotting carcass that I hope a street cleaner will pick up cuz it's really gross driving by it every day.
If you're trying to get pregnant, having a baby is a physical manifestation of your love for your partner. If nurturing that love is put on the back burner in lieu of the gazillion things that you want to get done (cuz let's be honest how much of that NEEDS to be done), you're not taking the time to till the soil so you have a harvest to reap.
A practical way to spend more time with your partner is to put it in your calendar.
Just like you would a meeting, hair appointment, waxing, eyebrow threading. You get my drift. You tend to keep your appointments when it's written and locked down. Make it a recurring appointment. Doesn't sound romantic but it works. And you can make up for the lack of romance in planning on your date. ;)
Prioritize and take action!
How was today's email? If you dug it and have a friend struggling to get pregnant, have her sign up for my daily emails at zenfertility.com/top10.
More to come about my online fertility coaching program when I re-launch in November. Stay tuned!
Natural Fertility Eggspurt
The Real Deal:
- Natural Fertility Coach
- Licensed Fertility Acupuncturist for 18 years
- Master in Traditional Oriental Medicine, Magna Cum Laude
- B.S. Microbiology & Molecular Genetics, UCLA