Being selfish improves your fertility

I wrote yesterday about how the busy-ness of our lives can affect our intimate relationships and how to fix that.

After talking with a patient about what's been going in her life for the past year, it became apparent to address it in a different context.  

Cuz this busy-ness is a direct assault on your ability to get pregnant.

You may be constantly putting out metaphorical fires.  Jumping from one problem to another.  Money problems.  Health issues.  Family feuds.  Workplace wonkiness.

It's called life.

And it's easy to be pulled into the drama of it all.  

Cuz it's easier to deal with that stuff than to be honest about what your boundaries are, setting them, and, more importantly, communicating them. 

As long as you're solving other people's problems, you've given yourself  a pass on seeing yours and working on them. Cuz now your excuse is that you're too busy.

Initially, it can feel like you're being selfish when you chose yourself over others.  But if you don't take care of yourself, who will?  You can't expect it of others if you don't even know what you need.

Once you identify your boundaries, communicating it can be very uncomfortable.  As women, we're not encouraged to voice our needs.  Instead, we're trained to be caretakers and it can be extremely difficult to overcome this conditioning from childhood.  But, believe it or not, it gets easier with practice once you realize it feels pretty darn good to get what you want and no one was emotionally hurt in the process.

So look at your life carefully as it is now.  What issues have you shouldered the responsibility for but are dragging you down emotionally?  Sucking the life out of you?  Preventing you from working towards optimal health so you can get pregnant?

Figure a way to give the problem back to its rightful owner responsibly so you have the space to tackle your own agenda.

I hope today's lesson helps you move forward in your fertility journey.  If it did, please forward to a friend you know struggling to get pregnant so she can benefit.  Have her sign up for my daily emails at

I'm working hard on re-launching my online fertility coaching program in November so hang in there with me!

Julie Chang,
Natural Fertility Eggspurt

The Real Deal:

  • Natural Fertility Coach
  • Licensed Fertility Acupuncturist for 18 years
  • Master in Traditional Oriental Medicine, Magna Cum Laude
  • B.S. Microbiology & Molecular Genetics, UCLA

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