Dating donkeys, stallions, and sheep is not a fetish

Having goals makes me feel like a failure. 

I don't know about you but life never, ever turns out the way I fantasize in my mind.  In fact, anything that I dream about as a future possibility rarely happens. 

 Prime example...I wanted the house with the husband, kids, and fulfilling career.  At one point, I had that.  Not anymore.  It wasn't until that family unit was gone did I realize how I was focusing on the wrong thing.  I admit, when I had it all, I kinda took it for granted. 

Looking back with 20/20 vision, I should have focused on how to be the best me in the present instead of continually looking towards the future.

Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with having goals.  In fact, you need them to give you direction otherwise you're just bobbing on a raft in the vast ocean, without any oars.  I like to think of goals as the North Star.  It's there when you feel lost.  But it's not an endpoint.  Because, if that's the case, you'll always be coming up short in preparation to get there.

I know you're thinking "Girl, you're crazy!  My goal is to get pregnant.  Period." 

Yes, yes, I know.  But with that goal in mind, then every month, technically, you're a failure until you actually get that positive pregnancy test.  And that's a ton of pressure to bear.  You feel it in the crushing disappointment when you see that first drop of blood. 

That's like me expecting every date I go on to be my "one".  If I had that expectation, I should just give up and start my cat collection now.  No, I have to date my donkeys (the asses), stallions (hot but uncommittable), sheep (faithful but boring) before I find my manicorn who shits rainbow poop (if you know what I'm referring to, high five to you!).  The way I make dating enjoyable is to let go of expectations and just look forward to getting to know a new person.  The experience of each date adds another layer to who I am.  How that layer helps or hurts me moving forward is completely up to me.  

If you can shift from the mindset of getting that positive pregnancy test which is a future result that you have zero control over to a mindset of what you can do everyday to love on yourself even more, it'll be a whole lot less stressful and way more fun. 

Trust me, it works. 

It doesn't have to be anything big.  It can just be taking a few extra minutes to pack a healthy lunch instead of going out with your coworkers.  Or going on an evening walk after dinner with your partner.  

When a woman loves herself completely, wrinkles and all, her love will overflow and have no choice but to  have the power to create something wondrous.
  
Changing that mindset is difficult without a system in place to move you forward consistently.  It's often easier to have a guide pointing the way.  As your potential guide, I'm offering you my Fertility Top10 to begin with http://zenfertility.com/top10

Julie Chang,
Natural Fertility Eggspurt

The Real Deal:

  • Natural Fertility Coach
  • Licensed Fertility Acupuncturist for 19 years
  • Master in Traditional Oriental Medicine, Magna Cum Laude
  • B.S. Microbiology & Molecular Genetics, UCLA

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