Why stilettos replaced granny panties...

I'm trying a new online dating app.

To complete my online profile, I need to fill-in-the-blanks to this statement "I appreciate when my date..."

My answers?  In no particular order...

  • has a job (evidently you can't make that assumption of a 30-40 something year old - silly me)
  • doesn't own a pair of khakis (if I can burn my granny panties after my divorce, you can retire your khakis)
  • works out (if you expect me to be fit, healthy, AND walk on the balls of my feet in stilettos, I expect the same thing minus the heels)
  • doesn't have roommates (I've outgrown the "let's keep it down so my roommie can't hear us" stage.  I'm in the "let's keep it down so my kids can't hear us" very extended phase.)

And, yes, I list these qualifications cuz of my recent dating experiences.  (So when you're mad at your partner, just read this email.  Hope you feel better!  You're welcome.)

I have learned the very hard way to let go of any expectations I may have when I go out with someone. 

It's not about "Is he the one?".  Rather I ask the question "Do I enjoy this person enough to see him one more time?".  

Yes, I want my happily ever after.  But I know that it'll take time, getting out there, and learning from each experience that will get me closer to the right person.

And so it is with you on your fertility journey.

It doesn't matter if you're at the beginning or you've been trying to get pregnant for years.  It doesn't matter if you're in your 30s or 40s.  It doesn't matter if your doctors told you your issue is unexplained, poor egg quality, low AMH, high FSH, PCOS, endometriosis.

It doesn't matter cuz that's all noise.

Just like I can't expect every new guy to be "the one", you can't expect every month to be "the one" either.  You know, the one where you're pregnant.  

When you become dependent on an outcome that you have no control over, you're riding an emotional roller coaster.  You know it.  You've been there. You might still be there.

Instead, focus on the factors that influence the outcome.     

For you, that means to be healthy physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  Cuz when you can feel good about yourself in EVERY aspect of your life, you can keep moving forward despite the disappointments.  

And resiliency is the key to staying on your fertility journey.  

To help you on your journey, my Fertility Top10 guides you to physical health for pregnancy: http://zenfertility.com/top10  

Julie Chang,
Natural Fertility Eggspurt

The Real Deal:

  • Natural Fertility Coach
  • Licensed Fertility Acupuncturist for 19 years
  • Master in Traditional Oriental Medicine, Magna Cum Laude
  • B.S. Microbiology & Molecular Genetics, UCLA

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